My Memorable Christmas times

It is the morning of the Second Day of Christmas. I feel in a particularly reflective mood. This has been a very good Christmas and I say it before it is actually over, but for me, the festivities are done, and now it is time for some reflecting and reminiscing. This Christmas was unusual from one perspective. I have not experienced any sadness that typically came over my Christmas moods. The sadness related to changes, departures and missing something. At times I could not understand myself as such moods came over me at the peak times of my life, times when actually nothing was missing. Maybe I have eventually accepted the rhythm of life, its seasons and reasons? Maybe I do not desire my life to be better than it is as it is actually as good as it gets? Anyway, it has been a very good Christmas without a feeling of loneliness that I experienced in the past.

I reflect on the memorable Christmases, the ones I not only remember but the ones I treasure and the ones that shook me up n some way, not necessarily positive. My first memory of Christmas is not particularly happy, I was very small then, and according to some psychological science, I should not be able to remember it. I must have been about two years old, and I got a big teddy bear as my Christmas present. I should have been happy, but the cuddly toy seemed to be too big and scary. My parents put it in my arms for a photo, as they thought that he will be my friend. I endured the process, but I do not look happy on the photo. Do I really remember the event? I think so when I think about the big teddy I the feeling of terror arises in me.  Not too brave girl, hmmm…

The second memory is almost a spiritual one. I was in my early twenties, and after the family dinner at my parents on Christmas Eve, we all decided to go to the midnight mass. My parents, grandmother,  brother and my husband Ryszard. My family was never particularly religious or musical, and I am not sure who made the suggestion to walk to the church for the mass and singing Christmas carols, but it was a brilliant suggestion, and the event stayed vivid in my memory till now. It was Poland in winter, the fresh snow covered the streets and that brought this very special peaceful silence of placed muffled by the snow cover. One has to experience this type of silence to understand my spiritual feelings while walking across the little park to the church. We were all silenced even if a moment earlier we talked and joked being bouncily happy. The only sound was the crispy sound of our steps in few centimetres deep snow. Nobody but us in the streets and this absolutely white and sparkling snow around us. Silent night…

Forgive me for being maybe even pathetic in my writing, but this is such a special memory…

The next memorable Christmas was again at my parents. This was a few years later, there was a new man in my life who insisted on marrying me and he wanted to go about it in a traditional way formally proposing to my parents. We were driving from Warsaw to my parents’ place some 200 km away passing the snow covered landscape, both being nervously excited and happy. Suddenly Hans said, give me the ring, give me the ring! I had been already wearing my engagement ring, but now it became clear that it has been premature. So I took the ring off to receive it back after my parents' formal agreement to the marriage with a foreigner! Now, armed with the sign of his commitment and affection with a huge bunch of orchids for my mother my future husband was ready to face the future in-laws. Boy, we were a sweet young couple with the whole happy life ahead of us.  He got accepted, needless to say, the ring went back on my finger a few hours later. It all happened on the Christmas Eve of 1973. Or was it 74?

Even if the marriage ran its course some years ago as the love lasts and passes, I still have this ring on my finger, and I wear it with sentiments of remembering the love of my life.

There have been many lovely Christmases since that time. The Swedish one in Hilversum in Holland, the very hot one spent partly in our swimming pool in St. Ives, actually many hot ones in Sydney, and then another cold one returning to Poland. This was a very special one as well, reuniting with my brother and his family and then moving on to the second Christmas Eve dinner with my best friend Basia, I wrote about before.

I will remember this year Christmas Eve for the mature feelings of acceptance of turbulences and changes in life and appreciation of friendship.

Bali - People

Before I left Sydney, I had to prepare myself for facing the people and the culture I was about to meet, but I had a very vague idea about. The first contact with Indonesia was going to be at the Denpasar airport and then a taxi trip to the hotel. I assumed that the Denpasar airport is like any other airport and I seem to have quite a lot of experience in this field. I decided that once I am in the hotel, I will be on a familiar ground or I will ask for help my friend and the organiser of the Bali activities who should be there before me. So I needed only to figure out how much money I will need for the taxi and where to change my Aussie dollars to Indonesian rupiahs. I googled to find my answers, and sure enough, the answers were there. I am not certain how correct the advice was, but I was warned against money changers cheating but this, later on, was not my experience. I did not seem to observe any underhanded dealings. Maybe they were so good that I just was not aware of their tricks. Anyhow, if I was cheated I have not lost much money in the process, but I received many lovely, warm smiles from the locals as a part of the deal.

Google advised that I will not find the best conversion rate and airport, so I should change only that much money as I will need for the taxi and look for a better rate later on. This sounded familiar, my experience from other countries, including Poland, has been that airports, banks and hotels do not offer good conversion rates. The Goggle article kept scaring that the money changes that offer a favorable rate may cheat you. You are not to hand the money back to them for recounting as they are supposed to be magicians and can spirit out the notes without you noticing that. Hmm… I did find the place with “the best” conversion rate, and it was like any cantor I have seen in the world. The possibility of being cheated was in my opinion not existent. The article, however, created, perhaps wrong mindset of not trusting the locals.

 I must say that I am confused about this issue. I simply like the people. They are friendly, helpful and their smiles are heart warming. To me, their good intentions seem obvious. And how they all smile! I find a few things confusing, though. Let’s take the story of the taxi fares. Another advice of Internet was that I should use Bluebird taxis. I was told at the airport that there are no Bluebird taxis there but Gold Bird taxis instead. I though that maybe a bird in the name of the taxi chain is good enough, so I took a Gold Bird taxi. I paid upfront 285,000 rupiahs, and the transaction was made look credible as I received a very official looking receipt and I and lovely smiles from the girl at the counter and the driver. The driver was very friendly indeed and chatty. Being in a foreign country for the first time one does not have any choice but to go along with what one is told and use the first experiences as lessons. I did just that. The driver drove a “normal route”. That meant not via a long and spectacular bridge for which one has to pay a toll of 11,000 rupiahs, about $1A. I was not really given a choice, and the high number of zeroes made me feel that it was a lot of money. I was not told at that time that “the normal” way takes 40min and “the bus” way takes 20min. Actually, I did not mind going through the longer route as I could observe a bit of a Bali life on the way. The surroundings were not too exciting or pretty, but it gave me some initial impressions.  

As we spend more time in Bali, we travelled by taxis several times, the accepted way is to bargain the fare or go by the indication of the meter if a taxi has one. My friend struck a deal of 170,000 rupiahs for the trip to the airport. This was a significant improvement on my 285,000.  I was tempted to ask the same driver to take me there, but since my departure time was not certain, I decided to ask the reception to call my taxi when I am ready to leave. To my surprise, my fare was 110,000 rupiahs! This how much the taxi meter showed and I took the “bus” route. Go figure.

Reflecting on the fare differences, which for an Australian are really inconsequential, I wonder if I should classify such behaviour as cheating, taking advantage of dumb foreigners or way of doing business. I decided that it is just doing business and getting the best deal. My warm feelings towards Balinese could be maintained. It made me feel good.

My Bali Adventure - Bali Welcomes

Christmas time is the time of the TV repeats of the “feel good films”. I  think it may be in recognition that this is the time when people get emotionally sensitive, or there may be some less idealistic and more commercial reasons for that. In any way, I   recently saw the repeat of the film Eat, Pray Love. The last part is very romantic, and it takes place in Bali. Never mind the romantic aspect of the film, the place for westerners seems very attractive and close to a paradise. Suddenly a thought of wanting to go there came over me, but I crossed it out as too adventurous for a single woman who even has some health challenges.   A few days later my qigong instructor or should I rather say master and mentor in some areas send me an email inviting to a trip to Bali that he was organising. It was supposed to be a trip to practice qigong, tai chi, kung fu and talk about Taoism. The invitation was very timely, and it seemed like a sign that I need to go to Bali this time. I was strongly drawn to the idea. So I organised the hotel, air ticket and I am now in the Novotel in Nusa Dua, Bali.

The trip was great, I flew with Garuda, and they seem to be to still be airlines used to be some twenty years ago.  The service and food were great, I forgot that I can be treated so well and without a subservient attitude which typically deep down is not that friendly and sometimes covers resentment to those who are being served. Another strong impression was of dignity and friendliness that emanates from the Indonesians I came across. Reflecting on what might create this impression I came to the conclusion that part of it is their body posture. Most of the locals have very straight backs. When I look at them, I also straighten up immediately. Even now when I write about it, I sit straight, not in my normal slouching manner. I hope this new, good practice will stay with me for a while. Another thing is their slow and measured movements. I have not observed any jerky movements around. The hot and humid weather may be the reason for that, I noticed some slowness in my own movements since I have arrived. It is not that hot really, but it is very humid. The rainy season has just started, and it rains almost all the time with short breaks only. For some reason, I do not mind that. The first day here I did not realise that part of my room equipment is a huge umbrella. Which my current experience I know that this is one of the essentials in Bali in December. Before I gained this knowledge I went for a little walk around the hotel compound and, of course, it started to rain. There was a local couple walking opposite me. They had an umbrella so I asked where I could get one. Almost immediately their still not open umbrella was extended in my direction, and this gesture was accompanied by a respectful bow as if saying “namaste”.  I accepted the umbrella with gratitude. Coming back to my room I found my own umbrella waiting for me in the corner of the apartment entrance. I had not noticed it before. I decided then that I am going to like the place and the people. Few days have passed, and I still have this very positive impression and experience. When I walk around the hotel grounds invariably, local people smile and great me. Often they ask questions how I am and how my day has been. They behave as if they were my friends. They do it so naturally, and I believe that this is their way to be. Well, maybe there is a little of hotel training in it as well, but what their behaviour is convincing friendly and I buy it.    

The hotel I am staying in is one of the Novotels, one would think there is nothing to get excited about, but this Bali version of a Novotel is great in many ways. The hotels in Nusa Dua are located behind gates. The gates are rather symbolic as they do not close, but they are gates nevertheless. When cars entering the hotel grounds, the guards check the boots of the cars for the potential threat of terrorism. This is the lesson after the Balinese terrorist attack of 2002.

My Bali adventure started well, and I feel that it was an inspired decision to go for a holiday. In the recent years, I have travelled a bit or a lot in fact, but I have not been on such stationary holiday for ages. There is some sort of luxurious laziness about it. No wonder that Italians call it “dolce far niente” – sweet idleness. This is indeed a sweet experience for me. No guilt about doing nothing, just pleasure.

To be continued…