Old love, new reflections

When I was a young girl, only fourteen, I went with my mother and my brother on holiday to a very beautiful small place at the Baltic seashore, Jurata. I have mentioned the place in my previous posts. It seems that the magic times of seashore holidays are still on my mind and heart. During my stay in Gdansk this year, I was reminded why my associations with Jurata are still very strong. There were formative years in my life and in Jurata I met and experienced my first love.

 My first holiday in Jurata

The story seems like from a different era and a different life. In some sense it was a different lifetime and now it is just a story and maybe some sentiments. It makes me mushy though.

There was a girl and a boy. It took us more than one year of thinking of each other before we said the first hello. The reason why it took such a long time was that after one month holiday I went to my home town and came back for the next holiday one year later and one year older. A sweet sixteen. He was still there! Not very surprising as he was a local boy. He also remembered me and this time it did not take long, maybe a week or two, before we plucked up courage to smile at each other. It was a speedy affair, ha? Such were the times and such was innocence of us two. After few more days we went for a walk, this was awkward and nerve racking. Be both blushed a lot and did not know what we should be talking about. We both rehearsed it before but it was not easy to act it out. The time was passing and the short one month of summer holiday was coming to an end. Heather bushes started to show their delicate lilac colours, rowan trees were already covered in rowanberries. There were signs that August in Poland was coming to an end and that it will be time to leave the place were the first love was waking up in two young hearts. Ever since that time, when I see heather blooms or rowanberries I get the feeling that something wonderful is inevitably coming to an end. When we took our last walk along the path surrounded by the symbols of autumn, he kissed me! Wow! This was quite an experience even if it lasted only few seconds. I was to remember the feeling for many months. It was the last thought of each day, before I fell asleep and sweet dreams followed.

At home looking nostalgically at dried heather blossoms, waiting for the next chapter of the love story

Later on I heard that my boyfriend, as he already had this status in my heart, went through a crash course in kissing and was appropriately instructed by one of his more experienced pals. He was told where he should place his hands, how to tilt his head and was given some other technical instructions. Mind boggles. I thought that he executed his instructions masterfully. Alas, I could not make any comparisons.

The next year my family came back to Jurata again. We were like Polish boomerang in this respect. I was very nervous about meeting my dream boy. Will he remember me? Will he have another girlfriend? Being sixteen, eleven months is a very long time and a lot can happen. But he was there and he looked so happy to see me! The feeling was extraordinary. Now we were seventeen, quite grown up really. Or so we thought. The whole month together, till the heathers bloom. If you think, sex, think again. There were different times.

We walked along the beach, took some dips in very cold Baltic sea, ran, kissed during walks, laughed and touched each other hands lightly or played some fighting games. Need for physical contact was evidently there.

During my time in Gdansk we met after many, many years of not having any contact and I got photos of young us. Boy, we were beautiful!

Our relationship lasted another two years. We corresponded and he even came to my prom to be my partner. I do not remember much from the time unfortunately. But we definitely were a couple then.

The next year we both moved to Warsaw and the romance became more of an every day life. Were going out together until, fickle me, met a man about the town who later became my husband. A sophisticated man from Warsaw, already a student, riding his Lambretta, smoking, dancing modern dances… He was too strong a competitor to my first love. I wanted to experience more.

I wonder how my life would turn out if, if…I do not have any regrets though, I love my life as it has been. But the memories are really, really beautiful. Was it really me? Hmm…