Back to posting

It has been a while since I posted. It is mainly that what was happening in my life was difficult to live through and difficult to write about. Even if I am typically quite candid with what I write, I want to leave the details aside for now. But I want to go back to writing my posts, so it looks that I will be a bit enigmatic and I hope that this will not matter.

I always wanted to lead a meaningful life. Sometimes my friends thought that I am too serious and that I labour the point of meaningful life too much. Now, I think, more than ever I want to live better than I was managing so far. But what is better? What I can change and how my days need to look like?

In the last weeks, I put increased emphasis on reading stoic thoughts. In fact, I started the year with a Daily Stoic book recommended to me by a friend. This is interesting and a good morning practice, but the current situation requires something more. So, I I decided that I want to read again the book by the polish writer Piotr Stankiewicz “The art of living according to stoics”. I felt that it would be very helpful to read the book with new interest. Alas, I left the book in Poland. And here I discovered once again the power of technology. After a short search on the internet I found an e-version of the book and some minutes later the book was downloaded to my iPhone. It felt like magic. I have been using internet and online shopping quite extensively so the situation should not have surprised me. It was just that I wanted the book so much that the sudden ability to read it at my will felt like many doors opening for me. I have not been thinking about it that I can read any book that is in Polish bookshops without going to the country. Typically, I prefer to read English originals, but there are books that are not translated into English that they suddenly became available to me. I like it.

So, what about living according to stoics? One of the most powerful and useful to me messages is that there are two things in life: those we can influence and those that we cannot. Worrying about the ones that are not under our control is silly as we can not do anything about it. The way is to accept it in a calm way. This is indeed an art that will require some practice, but I must say that I am doing not too badly already.

I guess I will stop at that for today, but my intention of going back to blogging has been fulfilled. The life is going back to the old shape, but there is a challenge ahead of me to live better than I was and use the time better. Procrastination will disappear. 

I feel cheated

Yesterday, I eventually went to see Three Billboard Outside Ebbing Missouri. I did not fancy it, but people were raving, the media were predicting Oscars and several nominations have been awarded already. So, I thought, it is almost an obligation for somebody who sees films often and appreciates their value to see this particular film even if I did not like its setting much. I thought this was rather low of me so I went to see it and I had an open mind.

                            

During the film, I laughed, I cringed, I was engrossed in the action 100%. When the film finished, I thought that it deserved all the Oscars it was nominated for and conceded its superiority over other films I previously liked a lot. My personal assessment of Call Me by Your Name was demoted to a lower position in the films ranking.

Then, while walking home I reflected on what it was all about and what actually moved me so much. The acting was great, and I think this was a dishonest trick to put emphasis on role-playing to obstruct the film’s psychological inconsistencies, emptiness and untruth. Since analysing is often my game and sometimes my shortcoming, so I analysed the issue and quickly came into conclusion that the moments in the film that made me think of the goodness of human nature hidden behind rough exteriors are seriously unconvincing. The film is full of that. People who are extremely cruel, harm others in the most brutal way without a moment of thinking, suddenly see their failings and show the most touching human generosity. Like the boy who was savagely harmed by the policeman, later recovering in the hospital and seeing the policeman who was patient himself after an accident, after some hesitation comes with the glass of juice to the bandaged policeman and tenderly positions the straw so it can be reached easily. Nice. And I went for it thinking that human nature has so much goodness underneath of violence. Well, I feel gullible.

                              

The most difficult to swallow is, however, change in the officer Dixon, brilliantly played by Rockwell. The dumb, violent, cruel man after receiving the letter prizing him for potential detective talents turns into an honest, dedicated person who almost starts to display an aptitude to solve complex problems.

Well, I still think that the film will get his Oscars in abundance, but I will not be convinced.