Courage has been one of my core values for quite a while. I value this value a lot. I could not resist this repetition even if it is a cheap trick. Am I a courageous person though? In some ways, definitely, but in some not at all. I would like to blame some of my shortcomings on my upbringing and my overprotective mother, but I had a lot of time to fix some problems. The fact is that I do not swim, and I do not ski because I was afraid of deep water and speed on slippery tracks. Some excuse may be that growing up in the middle of Poland there was no water or mountains around. I am aware that it is only a weak excuse and that I should own up to the fact that I am not able to do those things that an average Australian can. I can boast, however, that I walked on fire, though. Twice!
I am talking about physical courage, and there are of course other types. I may score better in some other disciplines of courage. I am not sure what I may come up with when I begin to reflect and analyse my case.
The reason why this subject came to my mind today is that I started to think about and plan my Christmas. One could say: already??? For a person who does not have the family around, Christmas is a time of challenge that needs solutions and planning. Strangely enough, I noticed that one of my posts about Christmas had been read recently few times. It is not only me who thinks about Christmas is September then. What has this to do with courage? Not much, but it has a bit, the way I look at it. I always wanted to see Angkor Wat, and I was not sure how I could do it. It seemed a bit risky. There are few places in the world I would like to see and wonder if it is not beyond me to travel solo to India and South America. Africa somehow does not work on my imagination enough to want to go there, and nobody is trying to convince me otherwise. Europe is another kettle of fish. Europe is home, and I feel relatively comfortable traveling there especially that I perhaps could have the company of my fabulous niece, Martyna and my old Uni friend Basia. Maybe even of my young nephew Peter. For the coming year I am planning to go Madrid and with some luck to Italy again, Arezzo is firmly on my mind.
| Dreaming of Italy again and Piero della Francesca's frescos |
This was a bit of dreaming about future travels and by verbalizing the aspirations, I feel energized and hopeful that I will make them a reality.
Going back to the trigger of this post and the possibility of spending Christmas and the New Year in Cambodia and Laos; it all started as a random thought after reading a coincidental email notifying me of the possibility. After few minutes looking at the literary, prices and dates, I realized that having sufficient courage I should decide to go. I will be fulfilling one of my dreams which I had classified as unrealistic. Why unrealistic? Heavy suitcase, demanding walks, the behaviour of my heart? It is all manageable if I have the courage and stop to play safe and sensible. Suddenly I got a shot of enthusiasm and started to think that it is not always safe to play safe. My always wise friend Basia cautiously approved of my new idea, but I was sensing some reservations. It made me hesitant again. But perhaps it is better not to think too long about “to go or not to go,” pluck up the courage and just book the trip. The issue is still open.
