Some
time ago, I have been told that I concentrate too much on the past rather than
living in the NOW. I got a bit defensive about it, but on reflection I think I
may have misunderstood the message and intentions of the person who commented
on my posts. This time I must admit that the past is flooding my thoughts and
feelings. It restricted my actions and
it is time that I do something about it. The Tri-City of Gdansk, Sopot and
Gdynia causes excessive reflections. So much has happened in this place not
only for the Polish modern history but also for me personally. I decided that
writing I about it may help to get it out and forget. Here it goes…
I
have not considered Gdansk to be my home town until quite recently it has
started to change. Before I left Poland for living in other countries, I considered
myself to be a Warsaw girl. I lived in Warsaw for about 15 years and felt at
home there. I only visited the area around Gdansk from time to time. Almost
each visit, however, triggered off some important change in my life. I have not
realised that until quite recently, but the pattern is very clear.
It
was not far from Gdansk that I fell in love for the first time. They are nice
and tender memories confused a bit by the fact that it was me who left the
relationship and not for a good reason. I simply grew out of it. Maybe this is
a good reason enough? The object of my reminiscing lives in Gdansk now. When I
pass his place of business, and I do sometimes, I cannot stop the memories to
come back.
Yesterday,
I walked from Sopot along the beach towards Gdansk. And again, I passed the
place where my life took one of those critical turns. There, I met my future
husband during one summer holiday. It was also the time where I said good bye
to my first love. It was confusing and created a sense of guilt in me. It was
quite an appropriate feeling for I was still a catholic girl and a Polish one
to it. Guilt is speciality of Poles and a Catholicism is based on it. So, I felt bad, but my life at the same time moved
in the new exciting direction and the bliss of the first grownup love followed.
There
is another place in the Long Market in the Old Town of Gdansk, where I learnt
computing languages and this made me a programmer and started my IT career
lasting many, many years. It was the start to my successful professional life.
It is difficult not to pass the place where I studied those languages when I
stroll in the Old Town and then it is difficult not to think about the times
passed. Actually, it was more that studying involved there.
 |
| There are two facades but the buildings are internally joined |
| The room now looks very much the same as I remember it |
After
some years, life took me away from Poland and Australia became my new home. But
before I moved there, me and the new man in my life spent part of our honey
moon in Sopot staying in the Grand Hotel. It was a grand place, as the name
indicates, but it was a tired grandness, only a memory of grand times. The
communistic rulers did not approve of excesses in comfort and elegance, so the
place was badly kept. It still meant a lot to me to be there. We had a room
with a view. It was not a grand room, definitely not a honey moon suit, but the
windows opened towards the sea. I thought it was fantastic. I remember opening the window and inhaling
the smell, the smell of sea I always found wonderful.
During
my years in Australia I have not though about Gdansk at all and very little
really about Poland. Of course, I knew about Solidarity and Walesa. It was
Gdansk again…
After
years my life went through another turn and I found myself on holidays in
Gdansk. A single person again. With the help of my dear friend I reacquainted my
old admirer. We went through a period of mutual infatuation and since we both
were single it seemed sensible to plan our autumn years together. That is how I
came to live in Gdansk. We shared the memories of our young years, love for
literature and inclination to philosophising. We both loved under-cooked
vegetables which is rather uncommon in Poland. That seemed enough to enter
another relationship. It was not that idyllic
as I had imagined, but there are beautiful memories that come to me very often
when I am in Gdansk. There is a lot of melancholy around it as the man has
passed away.
There
are a lot of good, happy feelings as well as I love my life style when in
Poland. I also find my Gdansk place very comfortable and beautiful. I hope I
will be able to return here for many more years. If I would be asked now what my
Polish home town is , I would definitely answer – GDANSK!
