This is the question I often need to answer. There is nothing wrong with such a question in general terms, but for quite a while it irritated me and even upset me sometimes. I have not felt comfortable with my emotional reaction. I wondered if somewhere in my deep subconscious I felt inferior for being Polish. I did not like such an option, but maybe it was something in it after all. People in the old communistic block had a different lifestyle, substandard regarding affluence. The difference made us feel inferior to some extent, and the value of culture and richness of intellectual life was considered to be compensation. The system now belongs to the past and some changes in Polish societies are not necessarily positive.
I was born Polish, and now I live in Australia. Most of the time, I feel that I am an Australian. I retained my “charming” accent, but even being aware of that accent does not make me feel any worse or different. We have so many accents here, in Australia.
So, why the question irritates me still? I sometimes even answer – From Mosman – playing innocently unaware of the real intention of the question. Mosman is the suburb I live in. On the question of nationality, I answer – Australian. This is true; I have a dual nationality. I am not a person who invites controversy. At least, not often. So, why do I bite in this case? Suddenly, the reason and justification for my reaction came to me. I realized that such a question marks one as different, not belonging. This is an excluding question if asked early in a conversation and without any practical need to know the answer.
In times of the refugee’s issues bothering the world, it is particularly important to think twice before we mark someone as being on the outside and not allowing them in. I am not going to fight any battles in this post, I have not thought it through enough, but I know that classifying someone as an outsider, hurts. If we do so, let’s realize the hurt of the other as well as our own need for security which may be based on false grounds.
I have similar experience.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me Isabel Allende. Some time ago, after some forty years in exile, she visited her country - Chile. After return journalists asked about her impressions - amazing, I felt again, that I was among people I know.
But you have millions of readers in USA, certainly more people know you here.
Readers - frowned Allende - in Chile i go to the street market, travel on the bus, and I know people around and they know me. Not by the name - they just know I am one of them.
I got the same impression whenever I visit Poland.
And in Australia - after the first sentence - where from are you? What about can I talk with this person? Ask him the same question?
Sometimes it is a good idea. Once my interlocutor was Dutch. He asked a good question: why people from Poland are called Poles and people from Holland are called Dutch?
I agreed - you should be called Holes.
I think, Lech, that my feelings related to the place of birth are a bit different than yours. It has been too long since I left Poland and Poland changed too much for me to feel fully at home there. Australia has been my home country for many years and the question pushes me away on the outside. So, I feel kind of rejected.
DeleteOf course there are touching memories that are awaken when I am in Poland and see the old places, but I lost the sense of belonging there.
I wrote a blog post with exactly the same heading five years ago. http://rummuser.com/?p=7013 It does not irritate me any more but I can quite understand your own feelings in the matter.
ReplyDeleteHow interesting. Looks that it is very difficult to feel like you belong living in India. Moving abroad seems to simplify things in this matter. What I have observed, though, is that the family ties are much stronger in India than in many other countries and that might be a sort of compensation. I started to wonder if countries composed of many smaller integral parts like Italy or India have not developed strong family ties as the result of other diversities. Am I going too far?
DeleteNo, you are not. Strong affiliations give a sense of security in diverse situations.
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