Place where a lot has happened

Some time ago, I have been told that I concentrate too much on the past rather than living in the NOW. I got a bit defensive about it, but on reflection I think I may have misunderstood the message and intentions of the person who commented on my posts. This time I must admit that the past is flooding my thoughts and feelings.  It restricted my actions and it is time that I do something about it. The Tri-City of Gdansk, Sopot and Gdynia causes excessive reflections. So much has happened in this place not only for the Polish modern history but also for me personally. I decided that writing I about it may help to get it out and forget. Here it goes…

I have not considered Gdansk to be my home town until quite recently it has started to change. Before I left Poland for living in other countries, I considered myself to be a Warsaw girl. I lived in Warsaw for about 15 years and felt at home there. I only visited the area around Gdansk from time to time. Almost each visit, however, triggered off some important change in my life. I have not realised that until quite recently, but the pattern is very clear.

It was not far from Gdansk that I fell in love for the first time. They are nice and tender memories confused a bit by the fact that it was me who left the relationship and not for a good reason. I simply grew out of it. Maybe this is a good reason enough? The object of my reminiscing lives in Gdansk now. When I pass his place of business, and I do sometimes, I cannot stop the memories to come back.

Yesterday, I walked from Sopot along the beach towards Gdansk. And again, I passed the place where my life took one of those critical turns. There, I met my future husband during one summer holiday. It was also the time where I said good bye to my first love. It was confusing and created a sense of guilt in me. It was quite an appropriate feeling for I was still a catholic girl and a Polish one to it. Guilt is speciality of Poles and a Catholicism is based on it.  So, I felt bad, but my life at the same time moved in the new exciting direction and the bliss of the first grownup love followed.

There is another place in the Long Market in the Old Town of Gdansk, where I learnt computing languages and this made me a programmer and started my IT career lasting many, many years. It was the start to my successful professional life. It is difficult not to pass the place where I studied those languages when I stroll in the Old Town and then it is difficult not to think about the times passed. Actually, it was more that studying involved there. 

There are two facades but the buildings are internally joined 

                                               

The room now looks very much the same as I remember it

After some years, life took me away from Poland and Australia became my new home. But before I moved there, me and the new man in my life spent part of our honey moon in Sopot staying in the Grand Hotel. It was a grand place, as the name indicates, but it was a tired grandness, only a memory of grand times. The communistic rulers did not approve of excesses in comfort and elegance, so the place was badly kept. It still meant a lot to me to be there. We had a room with a view. It was not a grand room, definitely not a honey moon suit, but the windows opened towards the sea. I thought it was fantastic.  I remember opening the window and inhaling the smell, the smell of sea I always found wonderful.

During my years in Australia I have not though about Gdansk at all and very little really about Poland. Of course, I knew about Solidarity and Walesa. It was Gdansk again…

After years my life went through another turn and I found myself on holidays in Gdansk. A single person again. With the help of my dear friend I reacquainted my old admirer. We went through a period of mutual infatuation and since we both were single it seemed sensible to plan our autumn years together. That is how I came to live in Gdansk. We shared the memories of our young years, love for literature and inclination to philosophising. We both loved under-cooked vegetables which is rather uncommon in Poland. That seemed enough to enter another relationship.  It was not that idyllic as I had imagined, but there are beautiful memories that come to me very often when I am in Gdansk. There is a lot of melancholy around it as the man has passed away.

There are a lot of good, happy feelings as well as I love my life style when in Poland. I also find my Gdansk place very comfortable and beautiful. I hope I will be able to return here for many more years. If I would be asked now what my Polish home town is , I would definitely answer – GDANSK!

Corpus Christi

My religious catholic times are over. This came with the package of noticing discrepancies between what the church practices and preaches. In addition, I divorced my first husband and the relationship moved into a true  friendship phase. The church however does not forgive such mistakes and excommunicates poor souls who change their minds as far as marriage goes. So, I was excommunicated and my old religious practices had to be stopped.

Living in Sydney as a non-Catholic I am typically unaware of the church holidays, not so in Poland. Today is the Corpus Christi day and that involves processions around each town, and I believe, villages as well. In Gdansk in the several parts of the town there are local Corpus Christi processions organised by the church and its more enthusiastic believers. For many years, the street at which I live has been selected to be on the route of the local procession. Further, the fence of the house has been especially honoured by erection of one of the four procession altars that belong to the process. I am respectful of the proceedings even if it is not my fairy-tale any more.

Yesterday, I noticed a couple of ladies energetically cleaning up the pavement around the house. They paid particular attention to crevices between the small granite stones at the edge of the pavement. I did not connect immediately their activities with the forthcoming Corpus Christi, but eventually I clicked when they asked me to keep an eye on potential cars that might want to park next to the altar that was going to be erected the next day morning. I promised to keep a watch, hoping nobody will park as I would perhaps not have enough motivation to intervene. Thankfully, nobody did.

This is the view of one of the main processions in Gdansk. Much more grandiose than my local one.Maybe the next year I will make my way to the Old Town of Gdansk for the occasion?

                                   

This morning I was waiting for the procession to pass next to my windows and around 11:00 I heard religious singing heralding the event. First a group of regular believers appeared, followed by church officials dressed in white albs, then little girls with baskets full of flower petals to be spread in front of the main priest marching under a canopy carried by four men. At the end about two hundred believers walked with their heads down showing particular respect. I liked observing the event, but had to be very discreet about it not to offend the religious feelings of anyone or trigger off potential aggression of people who may have not liked to be observed during their religious rituals. While watching, I prayed a bit in my own non-Catholic way similar to meditation. I liked the peacefulness coming with the moment.

The priest read some scriptures, just few meters away from my window where I was hiding behind a net curtain, then he performed a very short part of a mass and few minutes later, the whole procession walked away singing again.

To me, the whole process belongs more to the XIXth century than to the modern world of the XXIst, but such is Poland. It lives in the past and the future at the same time. In most of the cases I like it. 

Starting my Polish Holiday

Changing realities is a bit disorientating. I have done it few times in the last two weeks. I may be using too grandiose term for my situation, but this is how it felt for a while. Leaving Sydney, I stepped into a “being in the air” bubble.  This is how I feel when I travel between Australia and Europe – I step into a different reality than my usual day to day life. This is my way to cope with a very long flight.

When I landed in Warsaw I entered another world. This was the world of my dear friends who took care of me in the first week in Poland. I was fed five times a day (much too much by my standards) and I enjoyed the indulgence forced upon me. I ate plenty of bread and potatoes, food that is very seldom on my menu in Sydney. This may not sound very special, but it was to me.  Sure, there were many other things to choose from, but they seemed less attractive than the forbidden fruits of fantastic Polish carbohydrates.

I was socialising 7X24 (or close to it) during the time in Warsaw. This was another substantial change to my usual life style. And again, I enjoyed the change very much even if at times it was a bit tiring (tiring to both sides, I imagine). This seemed to be another reality to me.

A week later I was on my way to Gdansk, yet another reality. I have been here for less than one week, but it feels “normal” already. Looks that I got accustomed to changing environments even if the beginning was quite disorientating.  So, I am back in my Gdansk place, the place I will call home for the next three months. I feel happy here and I intend to make the best of my stay here and promise myself to stay away from those tempting carbohydrates.

I love my life in Australia and my real home is there, and yet being in Poland touches some nostalgic strings and makes me feel that many of my important interests lie in Poland. This revolves mostly around cultural issues. I love atmosphere of old towns, their architecture including churches. For many people churches are boring, but not so for me. They typically contain architectural gems, paintings, sculptures, frescoes and such. It all adds up to this specific churchy atmosphere that I love.

I also notice a little different attitude to music, books, theatre and social life. Some of it I very much like the Polish way. I see more reverence for cultural life in Poland than I observe in Australia. It may be only superficial, but I like people dressing up for theatre, concerts or opera. I admit, there is some formality about it. This maybe unnecessary, but for me it is nice even if on two recent occasions, I was the one who was under-dressed.

During my two weeks in Poland I started strongly my cultural life and attended two events. One was the Closing of the Season Concert in the Warsaw Philharmonic and the second Nabuco by Verdi in the Gdansk Opera House.

The place seemed smaller than I remembered it

                         

When I entered the Warsaw Philharmonic the memories came back with the strength. I used to be a regular concert goer and this was the place I visited most often. Memories of my past concert companions brought some nice feelings and some sad ones. So many people disappeared from my life…

The view of Warsaw Philharmonic still moves me when I approach it

                                  

The first part of the concert was a little disappointing as the Cello Concerto of Elgar was played not as well as I had expected.  Gustav Mahler’s early cantata was a different story. It has been many years since I heard Warsaw Philharmonic Choir and I think we both, the choir and I, matured over the years. The choir even got a Grammy Award the last year. Looks that my maturing was of a different kind, as there are no awards in this discipline. It was a great concert finishing with a lot of clapping, flowers, speeches to farewell the retiring musicians and celebrating the famous choir. Great evening to file in my memory.

I did not intend to write reviews of concerts or operas, so I stop here. I only wanted to illustrate some aspects of my life during the Polish holiday.

This post is really to mark my returning to blogging, so soon I will write more.