I have not written for quite a long
while. One of the reasons is that my world has shrank and the subjects for
writing shrank with it to only a small list. Another reason is that I am very
reluctant to write about my current areas of interest as I do not want to get
too sad or dramatic. I have hinted before that I have health problems and they
are serious. People say that I am brave, strong and such things. I do not see
myself in such light, but hope to remain to be a practicing stoic in the time I
have left. See how dramatic I suddenly sound when I write about some of my
current thoughts. Sense of humour was always important to me, but there are
times that jokes can become bad taste. Will I find the right balance?
This morning I got another prompt
from one of my readers (how grand it sounds “one of my readers, and presumptuous perhaps) so I thought, I will try to
give it a go and write something, even if I may cross my border of appropriate
disclosure. By the way, kvd, it would be nice to get an email from you. I know
you do not have it but you have the ways to find out.
I have eventually got myself the
stoics influenced coin with AMOR FATI (LOVE OF FATE) and on the other side Nietzsche’s
NOT
MERELY TO BEAR WHAT IS NECESSARY… BUT LOVE IT. From the beginning I thought
that it is really difficult at times to mean it and not feel that this is only
wishful thinking. I wanted to be honest with my feelings.
I put the coin on my desk wondering
if I can really embrace the meaning of it one day. Looks that I might be getting
there. I started to experience healing events, meeting really good people,
discovering people who genuinely care for me. There is a group people I can
trust and I know they will always have my best interest at heart. This brings
me peace and feeling of safety. The most
important relationship returned after years in a new beautiful form of trust
and friendship. Many things came to me lately for which I am truly grateful.
Synchronicity? Maybe… Or maybe just seeing
things in a different light. In a true light. Often, we worry about unimportant
things. Value unimportant things. I believe that now I see life in the right proportions and that the
most important values came to the fore.
People ask me what gives me pleasure
and I think they want me to do just those things. Writing my blog is one of them
and getting some comments tops it up. This is an important exchange of thoughts
and makes me think that my views matter to some. If I get some questions or suggestions
of a subject to write about, I will be grateful and do my best to do just that.
