Strawberries, memories and regrets

In current times strawberries and generally berries are considered to be super food. I have been always a bit careful about what I eat and, I must confess, even worried about my health. Perhaps overly so, but with my Polish background this is normal. An average Pole is very much preoccupied with health and diet. I even heard that Poles like to be sick. Being sick gives a certain amount of self-importance and commands attention of others. But I have digressed and the simple point I am trying to make is that I eat strawberries every day as I consider them good for me. When at home, I eat Australian type of strawberries, the berries  I looked down at some years. I even did not eat them for a long time considering them inferior to the strawberries I was used to in Europe. With time my memories of old fashioned European type of strawberries faded and the Australian strawberries improved its taste and prices, so now I eat them every day with my breakfast. The strawberries here are big, read and firm. From time to time, they even have pleasant taste. They last few days in my fridge and much longer in the fridge of the local fruit market and prior to that at the growers’ fridges. I wonder how many days pass from the time the strawberries are picked to the time they land up on my plate. 

Often, the memories of old days come to me together with the memories of fragrance of old fashioned strawberries my father used to grow. He came from the family of farmers and always had a farmer sole in him even if he led an urban life of a business person. As his business became successful he was able to indulge in a hobby farm near the industries town we lived in. He started an orchard which with time became a show case for the university of agriculture. The famous professor and his students used to come and visit my father’s orchard as it was considered to be a model and example for modern cultivation of apples.  

My father was a very pragmatic person and considered a waste of opportunities to be sinful. He had this orchard and as the apple trees were taking their time to become productive he considered it a good idea to plant strawberries under the trees. As I recall, in  the first years potatoes were planted and strawberries followed as my father’s knowledge of horticulture improved. My parents had a business to run so there was little time to dedicate to the farm activities, especially that my mother did not support my father enthusiasm for growing things. I was a child of urban tastes with reading being my favourite pastime, but taken to the farm I would partake in activities of the moment. I remember one day of potato-lifting time. It was September or October and the air was cool and fresh. The hired people were working on the field and after a while of observing the activities I joined in. As I was only a child my work had to be light, but father looked very proud observing me lifting the potatoes from the black fragrant soil. I will always remember the time and the smell of the air and the soil. I enjoyed what I was doing and it gave me the feeling of accomplishment, but I did not understand then how magical the time actually was.   

In those times agriculture was based on the rhythm of the seasons. Strawberries were ready for picking late June and early July. This is the time in Europe when the school year finishes and it is time to go away for summer holiday. My family could not do it, this was the strawberry season and one had to take advantage of it. This was however only my father’s view, the rest of the family did not share his love of farming and I even felt deprived of rightful pleasures available to my school friends. 

                                   

During the day my parents worked in their business, but come afternoon, my father sneaked out to go to his garden farm to pick a couple of baskets of strawberries for his family. He would proudly put them on the table in front of us and we would reluctantly pick at some the most beautiful strawberries I have even tasted. Only I did not know then that the fruit in front of me was so very special. I was upset that I had to stay at home when some of my friends were at the seashore. And I did not realise that my father was a very special man. The man of passion and wisdom, perseverance, courage and many talents. I did not understand so many things then... He was lonely in his passions; the family did not want to share his dreams. This must have been difficult and discouraging, but he was not to be stopped even if unappreciated by us. I am relieved to know that he was greatly appreciated by the agriculture authorities of Poland, but saddened that this is only now that realise those things.

This was the man who considered my father an authority on growing apples. This man even has a monument. How blind I was not to see my father achievements...

I know now that my father was a great role model and I must have learned from him some things by osmosis, and I am grateful to him for that.  I feel  sad, however,  that I never told him  about my respect and admiration. I understood things too late.

Books we read

                                                      

I belong to a book club and, of course, I read books not of my choice. Actually, this was the whole point of joining the club. That and the possibility of discussing the books with like-minded people. But, it somehow does not work for me very well and I wonder why. I always have been individualistic and do not like to be directed in my actions. Maybe this is the reason why I look at the club books in a negative way? I think, however, that there is more to it than that. I, often, do not find the books relevant and I question the time spent on reading things I do not learn from, enjoy or even approve of. The book I am reading now is Rocks in the Belly by Jon Bauer. A young Australian writer and his first book. I must say that it is well written book and because it is well written its depressing impact is rather profound. Does it make the book worthwhile reading? I would say that the effect of reading the book may be even harmful for somebody of more sensitive feelings. Like me. I have been reading the book for a couple of weeks now, I could not take more than a couple of short chapters in one go. I felt dirty, sticky, ill, depressed and generally horrible. This power of the book makes it perhaps a good book. I am asking myself a question though, how relevant it is to me? What does it bring into my life in addition to depression? And I do not find a good answer. One could say that I should watch a comedy show or a film or read a funny book if I want to be entertained. But I not always want to be only entertained. I want the time I spent on reading to bring some new thoughts relevant to my life (to any life in fact), even some answers to existential questions or at least some insightful observations.

Dostoevsky is not a cheerful lecture, but I consider his books worth reading, even if one should read them with caution. My literature teacher at school was saying that two Dostoevsky's books read one after the other present a danger to one’s emotional life, more than two present a danger to the reader’s life. Jon Bauer wrote only one book so far and I think it is save to read this one book, but I wonder why I should put myself through the process of reading it. I think, I got the message the author wanted to pass. People are cruel, parents can profoundly hurt their children psyche, bad is inherent to our nature, what you soak in at your early years will show up in your later life, cancer is a very cruel illness, sex is good to get you out of the dumps, if only for a short moment, we’ll all die at the end.  This is what I got out from the book, this and a very unpleasant sticky feeling. This is a very brutal book in my opinion.

The life truths the book reveals have been known to me for a while, I find them pretty obvious and not particularly worth spending hours on reading the book and pondering on the intended messages.

One observation, however, caught my attention and this is the uncertainty of what we actually experience versus what belongs only to our feelings, predispositions and imagination. The hero, who is unnamed in the book, wonders if the drama created in his life was a result of actual neglect by his mother or his own blinding jealousy of her feelings towards foster children who lived with the family. Reflecting on it, I am not sure myself what the deciding factor was, because both aspects were there.  The mother was not attuned sufficiently to her son feelings and sometimes behaved in the way I would consider neglectful or even cruel. On the other hand, the eight-year-old boy was predisposed to see live as negative and scary. However, a loving, careful mother should have seen his sensitivities and act with more care. 

I am glad that I am trough with the book and I will try not to be too critical of the book choice in the forthcoming book club meeting. Especially, that the situation will change and soon the members of the group will be picking themselves the books to read.

I find The Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara by far the best book I have read the last year, but this is not the book I will be recommending for the group. My three candidates are Pamuk’s The Red-Haired Woman, Ferrante’s My Brilliant Friend and the new Nobel Prize winner Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Remains of the Day. I started reading the last book only today, but I know and love the film made based on the novel. So, I have high hopes I will love the book as well.

I am back at home

So, I am back in Sydney! I must say that I was not much looking forward to my Sydney day to day life. I was enchanted by European type of attractions and the time spend with my friends and family. I must say that my place in Poland is more attractive and comfortable than my Sydney equivalent. It is also much cheaper to live there and the shopping is really good. Not to mention the time spent with my dear friends playing canasta and chatting about nothing and everything. Going out was also a strong point of the holiday. It is good in a way that I am not tempted by Aussie cakes. I do not feel that I want to go for coffee at all. And this is one of the positive things I find about my life here. Poland is a carbohydrate country and this needs to be controlled by a strong will. Unfortunately, I did not do too well in this department and now there will be a bit of work to get back to healthier look and diet.

                                        

After one week, I am happy to realise that my feelings towards Australia returned to normal and that I still call Australia home. It feels nice, safe and comfortable. Like an old slipper as per Polish saying. I am not sure if it is used in English as well. Maybe there are no great cathedrals, maybe there are not that many parks and greenery around, maybe there are no rolling hills, birches, lilacs, chestnuts, maybe women are more casually dressed but there is something in the air that makes me feel like breathing lighter and the sky above has been so blue as I had not seen for four months.

                                 

I am happy to be in my home number ONE and plan my next trip in few months’ time to my second more complex, charming home.   Looks like I am a lucky girl.

The Double Lover

I have not written a film review for some time. Being in Poland during summer holidays meant that I have been here when movie premiers were stopped. This has now finished and on Monday the new school year starts and new movies enter the cinemas. Since my Polish stay is coming to an end I have the feeling similar to being in a departure lounge. I need to pack my suitcases, do some final shopping, organise and tidy up the apartment for the next few months and nothing more. There is time to spend.

There were a couple of new films on and I decided to see one of them.  It was either The Double Lover or The Beguiled. Both of them by famous directors Francois Ozon and Sofia Coppola. The Double Lover was nominated for a Palme d’Or in Cannes this year and I have seen two films by the director The Swimming Pool and Frantz. They were both a little ambiguous, moody films so I thought that this may be more my cup of tea than The Beguiled as I could guess some unsavory scenes in this film watching the trailer.

So, I went. I expected a psychological thriller. The starting shot was rather shocking and I will not go into details of it (too demure or prude for that), but aesthetics was rather pleasing, so I accepted it even if I raised my eye brows in surprise. The film intended to stir the audience and it did, but except for that did not present much more, at least not to me. The sex scenes were back to back, and this would not bother me if there was more of a point to it.

There are elements of psychology as the heroine has some problems related to cannibal twin syndrome blocking her emotional life. She goes to a psychiatrist and then promptly seduces him and turns him (or he turns her) into a lover. And so, it goes. It gets stranger and stranger and eventually the climax of the film indicates that her blockage has been removed. Hmm…

                                       

The actress is very beautiful and it has been a pleasure to watch her as one watches a flower, able to see just the shape of it, but not much behind that. And there are a lot of other flowers in the film, mainly orchids. I wonder what the film director wanted to draw our attention to.

To me it was a fluff which brought an unpleasant feeling of stomach queasiness. I would not recommend the film, but I suspect that what I have written may entice some to see it anyhow or maybe because of what I have written.  Such is human nature.

                                               

I thought more about the film or maybe my subconscious 😕worked over the night giving me in the morning a new perspective to the film. On reflection, the presented story is filmed cleverly, maybe even very cleverly. Subconscious plays very important role in the film and it all makes perfect sense when one thinks about it and synthesise the story a bit. It is actually all very logical when one reflects on it and recalls the scenes. Some of the film presents “real life”, some subconscious of the girl and some her sexual fantasies.  Very clever indeed. Yes, there are many sex scenes, but the film is French, so what would you expect. Apparently in France the classification of the film is for “Over 12 years old”.

Since I am not really a prude, my uneasy feeling in the stomach must have come from this cake I had had before I saw the movie.

I guess that my comments made the film a “must see” proposition.  😏

Shakespeare in Love in Gdansk

Encouraged by comments to my previous post, I continue the list of my recent Polish impressions. The next item on the list is the Gdansk Shakespeare Theatre and the play I saw there Shakespeare in Love.

                                      

The film, on which screenplay the theatre version is based, was popular, but I saw only fragments of it on TV some years ago and have no comparison to the recently seen its theatrical version. The play was originally produced on the West End in 2014 and the Polish premiere was this year. As I have not been before to the newly open Gdansk Shakespeare Theatre I decided to see the play together with my friends. We really wanted to see the theatre in action as all of us are moderately keen on Elizabethan style productions but this play was the only option at the time. What neither of us particularly like is the ribald atmosphere and language of such plays. While my friends kept their intellectual expectations of the performance, I went with the flow and thoroughly enjoyed the energy of mostly young actors, costumes and choreography of the rather risky and showy movements. And I loved the performance of the dog! Apparently, the English canine actor was also very good, but I could not believe the composure and quality of acting of the funny Polish little French bulldog. Generally, the acting was based on artistry of the movements rather than on deep and meaningful dialogs. It was fun. Basic and crude? Yes. Still very enjoyable and very well performed.

It is an acquired taste and it grows on you as one finds out more about its story.

                             

Now the theatre... I was again very impressed by its architecture, functionality and the technical solutions.  Walking around this very new and modern theatre a couple of years ago, I was disappointed by the black cube plonked very close to the old town. I thought, how morbid and depressing.  I guess that many may see it still as an unattractive building. I, however, changed my mind and am in awe of it.  Apparently, Gdansk was a popular destination for English travelling players in the first half of the 17^th century. Each summer the English troupes visited this Hanseatic town with their plays performed in the Gdansk first public playhouse called The Fencing School. The building stood at the same place as the current Shakespeare Theatre and it looked similar to the current building. Come to think about it none theatre has a need for windows. They somehow do, though, even if there is no need thfor it. At least they have imposing entrance with columns or other ornaments. The Gdansk Shakespeare Theatre dos not have any of that, even the entrance is pretty much disguised so the black cube looks very sombre. Similarly The Fencing Scholl was a no frills building.

The Fencing School, engraving from 1687

     

Inside there are three levels of galleries running along three walls. The theatre does not seem big and I was surprised to find out that has the capacity to sit 600 people. As it is the theatre in the Elizabethan manner, there is place for standing audience on all levels.

                                  

One of the attraction is the retractable roof that opens and closes in three minutes. I did not expect to see it in action and was very nicely surprised to see the sunlight suddenly streaming into the theatre. Early start at 4:30 of the performances made sense. We were supposed to see the roof in action as well as the play.

Renatto Rizzi on the roof of the theatre (the roof opened) . I like this photo, it shows what a small man can achieve through his genius. There is some loneliness in the image as well. They say creating is a lonely preoccupation.

                       

The theatre was built by an Italian architect Renatto Rizzi and modelled on earlier theatres. The result is a spectacular Black Box building harmoniously mixing old with modern.

Building of the theatre was a really international affair. Charles, Prince of Wales is its patron and he has been actually involved in some of the theatre issues. In July this year, Prince William and his wife Catherine visited the theatre to see a short play and meet people of the theatre. Links with the British royal family continue.

Returning to post

I has been a while and since I posted and it is difficult to pin point one reason for it. I had some technical problems and had to live without internet for some weeks. Again! I have not felt all that well as my heart has not been beating evenly and this slows me down. I have been having some sort of identity crises swapping Australian kind of life for a Polish one. The last is not really a problem, rather something positive, but I must say it is confusing having the two identities in me and swapping them depending on current place of residence.

For now, I seem to prefer my Polish life style to the Sydney one and I hope it will change again in few weeks as Australia is my home and I want to have genuine and positive feelings about living there. The life I lead now is the result of the choices I have made over the years. Nobody to blame or to thank for but myself. I always thought that the choice for Australia was a brilliant one and I loved my Aussie life for many years. Then few things changed and some of the things I loved about my life in Sydney disappeared. A lot good things are still there for me, but Poland is a competition.

I have been visiting Poland almost every year for the last decade and each time I stay in my beautiful Gdansk. I call the place “my” even if my adventure with Gdansk started only recently. The place grew on me with each visit, there is some magic to this part of Poland and I am not the only person who thinks that. My best Polish friend who lives in Warsaw also says that there is magic in the Tricity. She is right.

Even if I do not want to compare the two countries and understand that it is not possible to do that sensibly, I catch myself on random thoughts giving Poland advantage over some aspects of my Australian life. This is only a temporary feeling, I know (or hope?). I believe, I will come to my senses soon. But for now, I am enchanted by Gdansk.

What is it that makes me see Poland in rosy colours? It is definitely not the politics or general characteristics of the “Polish nature”. They are sad, confusing things that worry me a lot but I do not want to think about them now. Many small, rather insignificant things add up and make me feel comfortable and satisfy my need of beauty in life.

Old Europe has its undisputed charms and Poland and particularly Gdansk are a part of it. When I stroll to the green market I am already in the Old Town of Gdansk or rather The Main Town as it is correctly called. I make a little detour for coffee in the Long Market, sit in an outside garden of a coffee place; read or watch passers-by. They are many of them and various nations, as I am always here in a tourist season. This is like a sitting form of flâneuring. They are very pleasant moments allowing for observations of people and surrounding architecture originating in XVI and XVII centuries. There is time for reflection and a bit of philosophising. Life in a slow movement…
                                                              
                                                                     

                                        

It does not take any effort to pay a visit to local Museum to see the famous Last Judgement painted by Hans Memling in the XV century. I just discovered that the famous painting has links with Florence, the place that fascinates me.      

                                                 

                    

The exhibition of the museum is more substantial than it has been some years ago. There are wonderful medieval treasures in form of sculptures, embroidery, the gold and silversmith art. There is also a good representation of Dutch paintings. I left the place with a WOW feeling.

Poland is not a rich country, but certain decisions of the town authorities contradict that. If there is going to be a fence in the town it is made of a wrought iron and is of the old-fashioned design and quality. There is a lot of granite as parts of pavements and the cobble stones are individually placed when repairs are needed. Some years ago, I saw asphalt street being ripped off and replaced with granite cubes for the street to look as it originally did some centuries ago. Not a short street, I must add.

Rides by public transport in Poland are free for retirees, not like in Australia only cheaper than for those who pay full fares. I am not trying to say that the Polish retirees lead a good life. Just the opposite, Australia better takes care of its older citizens.

Tram stops have light displays showing the forthcoming trams and times to departure. And this is 100% accurate, no need to use the information from a mobile. While traveling on a tram, the stops are announced. I was rather surprised on one of my first tram trips when I heard the announcement sang to the tune of the Bizet’s toreador song. It was announcing The Baltic Opera stop. Just before I managed to get over the nice surprise, a voice of a small child told me the next stop will be the stop by the Children Theatre. I hesitated if I should not travel to the end of the route just to hear the announcements. I lately discovered that the two announcements may be the only ones.

It is very nice and decadent to ask for half a kilo of blueberries and pay around 4 A$ for it. Raspberries and strawberries are also a reason for a great indulgence at a small cost.

                                                                   

In my kitchen after the visit at the green market

I just realised that I may have overdone in compensating for my break in posting, so I stop here even if my list of nice things about Poland is not finished yet. 

What do you know???

The Polish president will veto two of the three controversial laws, the laws that would have finally buried Polish democracy.  Wow, I am shocked! This is a very quick and emotional post. I am just leaving for a spa in few minutes, no time for writing and even no time for thinking. It makes me happy though. Can I trust this verdict? We'll see, but my choice for now is to feel positive about the event.