Fascination with Mountains

It has been a long time since I wrote a new post. The delays are due to lower spirit caused by not the best stretch in the health department of mine. It is time for allergies to flair up and that added to my general health maintenance issues.

I wonder why I started my post in the way I did. Do I think my readers need an excuse from me? Has my old friend - guilt (I am working on getting rid of it) kicked in again? Is it that I have not come up with an interesting subject to write about and am asking for understanding? All the above? Looks like it.

Some time ago I concluded that my blog will be a series of essays or as my very European soul prefers to call it - feuilletons. “Feuilleton” seems to me more like literary type of writing while an “essay”  indicates something like a school assignment.

So, the subject of my feuilleton today will be – Fascination with Mountains. 

There are two things that brought the subject of mountains to my attention. One of them is the a series of posts by one of my favourite bloggers Hans the Hiker. He impresses me with his determination to put dreams into plans and then into action. From what I can observe he succeeds big way. His most recent writing relates to his Mont Blanc walk. New posts are still being added but the first ones were enough for me to get into the mood of the hike and want for more. I recommend his  site.

I do not think I am particularly pessimistic thinking that such trips and views are beyond me now. Actually, many years ago when I spent time in Polish Tatra I had some altitude problems and was advised to avoid high mountains in the future. But mountain views are stunning; on Hans’ blog and in my recollection from student days. As I lived in the middle of rather circularly shaped Poland, summer trips were usually planed with change of scenery in mind. That meant either the mountains on the south of Poland or north at the Baltic shore. The two of my closest student friends and I went few times to Polish Tatra staying near Zakopane, the most fashionable place in the Polish mountain region. This was a great time for bonding and building trust one thought will last for life. And this is one of my most  profound disillusions and the saddest experiences of the recent. I know it is time to let it go, so I salute to the old friendship. 

                                 

Back to Zakopane and our holidays. We walked a lot in beautiful valleys with refuges feeding us local specialties. Reading Hans’ blog I came to a conclusion that Polish Tatras are a small brother of Alps but they beat even Italy as far as feeding tourists is concerned. Now and in communistic times, I can remember.

This looks like enough calories to prepare for a long hike

The cheese is very special and you can buy it only in Polish Tatras. 

Being young girls, we laughed a lot (maybe all the time?), we talked a lot and we read a lot as well. Magic times…

This is Giewont. Can you identify a laying man? His head and torso?

The memory of my holidays in the mountains was triggered by watching rather silly old Polish series – In Stilettos on Giewont. Giewont is one of the most recognizable Polish mountain sites; it is often named a Sleeping Soldier. The TV series is really silly and I gave up watching it after a short while but it brought the memories that are very important for me. There is a very special climate around the place, very distinctive culture, even language is different and very melodious, architecture    and way of dressing.  Maybe a lot of that is the show for the tourists those days, but even if it is only a show it is a very good one. Back to Hans’ posts, I can not stop myself to put a little add for Polish Tatra and its resorts. They are wonderful walks there. Not of the magnitude or beauty of Alps, but there is enough beauty to be found on less strenuous walks that for many will be demanding anyhow.

How about that for a view? Valley of Five Lakes.

Or this one? This valley was our favourite walk.

With some luck I will get myself such a scarf to feel warm in Australia and dream of Polish Tatra.

Love patterns

While I tidy up things in my home or cook, I like to listen to the radio. In my case this is often not listening to a radio but to podcasts. For a long time, there were Polish political podcasts, but they became less and less interesting as the time went by. What is happening in Poland now is so tragic that in self-defense I do not listen to it much. The country is being more and more destroyed with each new “good change” introduced by the government. The people are not interested in their future but happy with little perks they get from time to time. Just like lemmings or the proverbial frog that is getting cooked not noticing gradual increase of the water temperature.  The journalists who I liked to listen to in the past irritate me more and more. They must be feeling powerless as they just complain, interrupt the people they interview and repeat themselves. They really don’t have much power to change the situation, but in my opinion, they make it worse. OK, I feel a little better getting my complains out of the system.

So, yesterday as I was washing up, I was listening to a podcast from the Sydney Writers Festival instead. Aciman, one of my favourite writers, was talking about his book Enigma Variation. This time I am not going to write about any book, but about love patterns, books and writing. Seems there is no escape from books for me. And now I know why.

Aciman said that our first crush determines how we will be in love for the rest of our lives. We will desire the same way as it was the first time and there is no escape from it. He says such a life sentence is beautiful but I wonder?

When I heard it, I started to think if this was true for me and I had serious doubts about it. I could not remember anything interesting about boys at school. Then my thoughts went into my preadolescent times and to my surprise, I found my first fascination with another person. Was it a crush? Maybe, but I was too innocent for realizing that at the time. I still would not call it a crush. I was maybe seven or maybe younger when it all started? She was older. And again, I do not remember how old she was but she was old enough to read serious books and she was good at telling the stories to me. I was in owe with her and I wanted very much to be her friend and to be taught by her about life and perhaps about love most of all. We met at a summer holidays I spent at my grandparents. She was a girl from Warsaw and that was very impressive. Tenia, this was her name, stayed during school holidays with the neighbours of my grandparents. She was much older than me but I do not think she was older than fifteen when we first met. She was a keen reader and her choice of books was rather advanced. I particularly remember her telling me the whole story of An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser. I never read the book myself but I still remember the plot as she told me. It was about a couple of young people. The man was weak and manipulative and the girl naïve and trusting. She got pregnant but the young man did not have any plans to marry her. During seemingly romantic rowing escapade the boat turned over, the girl could not swim, the man did not help her so she drowned and the court case followed. What I find amazing is that I still remember the story, the title and the author. Maybe we were older than I recall? I know that I did not understand much of what it meant being pregnant, so I was putting the story together over time as my knowledge gradually increased. I remember that she told me other stories that were love stories with actions I did not understand. We met during a number of summer holidays and I was always wondering if she is going to come the following year. Of course, I was hoping we will meet again and she will be telling me more stories during our long walks among the wheat fields or in the pine woods that were not that far from our respective homes. The wheat fields started just behind the fence of my grandparents' garden. Those were idyllic times and idyllic walks. I never thought about myself as having a crush on Tenia, but perhaps it was just that. When I recollect the times now the sweet feeling of nostalgia overwhelms me.

                              

So, if I use this relationship as the pattern for my future loves they would need to follow the pattern of me looking up to the men I loved and I needing to learn from them. And that is how it always was for me except for my first boyfriend. This is a subject which I would like to explore later. Maybe I will post it or maybe it will become too close and personal.

My conclusion is that in my case Aciman’s claim that our first crush determines how we will be in love for the rest of our lives and how we will desire the first time will determine all our future desires has been  very true.