45 Years

The film moved me. I stayed in my place for quite a while after the last scene of the film while credits were rolling. It finished abruptly and I had to adjust to the reality. It took a while. My attention was totally with the film from the first scenes, but I must have been simply spellbound at the end of it. Charlotte Rampling is really an exceptional actress; she has aged magnificently and with dignity. As one should; age with dignity, I mean. I did not know her early career, but looking at old photos she was extremely sexy and beautiful. It looks that she must have raised some eye brows and scandals. Now in her late sixties she is beautiful in a mature way and she can be sexy as well. A role model, really.

Before

and now

The film is about a 45 years relationship of Kate and Geoff. The couple is planning their 45 anniversary party. They are a happy couple. Geoff is a bit absent at times and Kate active and confident. Then, Geoff receives news about his first love body being discovered frozen in the icy glaciers. He withdraws into his inner world of memories. Kate is disturbed by the situation. Her confidence is slowly turning into concern and confusion. The story of her husband’s first love happened a very long time ago, but Geoff’s present preoccupation with the past surprises and bothers her.  She questions solidity of the basis of their long happy marriage. Can she really consider it a happy marriage? The last scenes of the film show Kate desperately lonely among friends attending the anniversary party and dancing in the arms of her love, Geoff. They dance to their music – Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.

                             

For me 10 out of 10 for the film and both actors Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay. Oh, OK;  maybe 8 for Tom.

My personal experience is that we create image of people close to us so they meet our needs, fulfill our dreams and reflect our own values. If we are lucky and blind for sufficiently long time we can live happily ever after. Otherwise, we are faced with disillusionment. It may lead to pragmatically staying in the relationship or moving on hoping that the next relationship will be the happy one. Choosing life on one’s own is another option, not such a bad one, it seems to me.

There have been friendships and relationships in my life that I idealized and depended on. Not many happy endings, I must say, but I have experienced many happy years.  This is how I see it now. We travel though life together with somebody. Sometimes even 45 years. We are happy with our partners enhanced by our imagination. It depends only on how long they play their role well and how long they want to play the role of our ideal partners. Then some of us change the life travel companions… and so it goes. This seems a bit naïve but it happens to idealists before they decide to travel solo and only for short trips with some coincidental companions. I like this model. Some idealism is still preserved this way.