Moische, you get yourself a goat

In Poland, there many Jewish jokes. I have been always against them as I take it as a sign of anti-Semitism. And here I am going to write about a typical Jewish joke which so much applies to my life right now. It goes like this: 

Moische is very unhappy with his home situation. His place is crowded beyond his capability to cope with it. There is his wife there, his in-laws, his five children, the dog and two cats, ten chickens and a little pig in a very small place. Moische is so depressed and almost hysterical about it all that he needs some help. Only the Rabbi can help.  Off he goes to see the Rabbi and cries out:

Oh, Oh, Rabbi. I can not cope with my life anymore. Please help me. In my very small house there is my wife, my in-laws, my five children, the dog and two cats, ten chickens and a little pig. I cannot live like that anymore. The children cry, my in-laws shout at each other, my wife is always angry with me, the animals smell bad and make a mess. Please, please tell me what I should do or otherwise I will have to do myself in.

The Rabbi thought deeply for a while, scratched his head and after a while announced:

                                              

Moische, you get yourself a goat.

Moische was very surprised and could not understand how getting the situation worth could get his life better. However, in Jewish communities Rabbis enjoy great respect and their verdicts are applied without much questioning.

                                                    

So, Moische gets himself a goat and squeezes it into his very crowded house. The  goat is not happy about the situation either and it bleats loudly in complaint. It makes even bigger mess around herself than other animals in the house. Moische is on a brink of a nervous breakdown. He cannot sleep a wink the whole night and wakes up with his face swollen from crying. His frustrated wife beats him up for good morning to top up his misery.  Things cannot be any worse. He runs again to the Rabbi with his new complaint.

Oh, oh Rabbi. I have never been so unhappy in my life. Please help me. In my very small house there is my wife, my in-laws, my five children, the dog and two cats, ten chickens, a little pig and now the GOAT. I cannot live like that. The children cry, my in-laws shout at each other, my wife is always angry with me and today she beat me up, the animals smell bad and make a mess and the goat is the worse off all of them. Please, please tell me what I should do or I will kill myself.

Rabbi again thought for a moment and pronounced:

Moische, you get rid of the goat.

And Moische runs home, takes the goat by its horns and gives it to the neighbour.

Returning home, the house suddenly feels like an oasis of peace. Moische takes a big breath, he feels relieved and happy. Life is good. He is very grateful to the Rabbi for his insightful advice.

Coming back from the hospital to the same situation that I was moderately satisfied with before I had to call the ambulance, I suddenly feel light, optimistic and full of plans for the future. My life is good again now that I got rid of my goat.

Sometimes Jewish wisdom is better than my stoic reading.