Wednesday, 21 November 2018

Bloging Milestone


It was not long ago that I started my blog and today I hit the mark of  100,000 page views. For some people this is a small number but I am happy with it. Since I always liked reading, writing was on the cards as the next step and some progression. When I was fifteen or so, I started my first novel. I wrote maybe five pages and this was the extend of my career as a novelist. Then I attempted to write a journal and was more successful this time. I have in my drawers many beautiful books with my thoughts and problems of the times. It was a long time ago that I came across Morning Pages technique recommended by Julia Cameron. This is writing three unedited pages first thing in a morning. Something like stream of consciousness writing. It has not made me a James Joyce, but I solved many small problems this way. I would recommend starting days with the morning pages. Silly thing is that I almost stopped writing my journal in the recent months, but I want to get back to it. This is like talking with myself without putting any censorship on it. To make it easier to keep my new promise I ordered a nice new roller-ball pen with inscribed Amor Fati on it. I am getting a bit pathetic, ain’t I? Still for some years now I have liked nice pens, harmless addiction.

So, this historical event of reaching 100,000 page views started with the encouragement of a friend – My question: How to start writing a blog? Answer : Just do it. And I just did it. Thank you JC.

There is another person I consider with fondness as my teacher in many life disciplines and in writing as well. I believe that I wrote about is some time ago, but this is one of the characteristics of recalling memories. Repetition. So here it goes again. Polish written language is similar to German. Long convoluted sentences very few people can read to the end still remembering what they started with. It is supposed to be sophisticated and intellectual, I believe. My first business memos were tragic and I could not understand my problem. When a well-meaning person made five sentences out of one (I though short) of mine, I was shocked. Without being fully convinced I started to pay attention to writing short sentences with mixed successes, but I always remember the person who alerted me to the facts of written communication.

As I mentioned in one of the previous posts, I seem to have recently some problems with finding subjects to write about. Subjects which would interest others and myself. Subjects which would allow me to retain my sense of humour and distance to my current situation. Being able to keep some distance to the subjects I write about was always the key to allow seeing things clearly without emotional clouds and blinkers.

In the recent times I received some compliments that made my head spin. I never thought about myself that highly as somebody wrote about my subjects and way of writing. And now what? Noblesse Oblige? How can I live up to it? I never thought that highly about my posts myself. Just in case I was not able to express myself accurately, this was all said in a spirit of embarrassed humour.

Now, that I still have not found a decent subject to write about I will stop hoping that I will come up with something more meaningful soon.



Sunday, 18 November 2018

Synchronicity and all that



I have not written for quite a long while. One of the reasons is that my world has shrank and the subjects for writing shrank with it to only a small list. Another reason is that I am very reluctant to write about my current areas of interest as I do not want to get too sad or dramatic. I have hinted before that I have health problems and they are serious. People say that I am brave, strong and such things. I do not see myself in such light, but hope to remain to be a practicing stoic in the time I have left. See how dramatic I suddenly sound when I write about some of my current thoughts. Sense of humour was always important to me, but there are times that jokes can become bad taste. Will I find the right balance?

This morning I got another prompt from one of my readers (how grand it sounds “one of my readers, and presumptuous perhaps) so I thought, I will try to give it a go and write something, even if I may cross my border of appropriate disclosure. By the way, kvd, it would be nice to get an email from you. I know you do not have it but you have the ways to find out.
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I have eventually got myself the stoics influenced coin with AMOR FATI (LOVE OF FATE) and on the other side Nietzsche’s  NOT MERELY TO BEAR WHAT IS NECESSARY… BUT LOVE IT. From the beginning I thought that it is really difficult at times to mean it and not feel that this is only wishful thinking. I wanted to be honest with my feelings.

I put the coin on my desk wondering if I can really embrace the meaning of it one day. Looks that I might be getting there. I started to experience healing events, meeting really good people, discovering people who genuinely care for me. There is a group people I can trust and I know they will always have my best interest at heart. This brings me peace and feeling of safety.  The most important relationship returned after years in a new beautiful form of trust and friendship. Many things came to me lately for which I am truly grateful.

Synchronicity? Maybe… Or maybe just seeing things in a different light. In a true light. Often, we worry about unimportant things. Value unimportant things. I believe that now I see life in the right proportions and that the most important values came to the fore.

People ask me what gives me pleasure and I think they want me to do just those things. Writing my blog is one of them and getting some comments tops it up. This is an important exchange of thoughts and makes me think that my views matter to some. If I get some questions or suggestions of a subject to write about, I will be grateful and do my best  to do just that.