Returning to post

I has been a while and since I posted and it is difficult to pin point one reason for it. I had some technical problems and had to live without internet for some weeks. Again! I have not felt all that well as my heart has not been beating evenly and this slows me down. I have been having some sort of identity crises swapping Australian kind of life for a Polish one. The last is not really a problem, rather something positive, but I must say it is confusing having the two identities in me and swapping them depending on current place of residence.

For now, I seem to prefer my Polish life style to the Sydney one and I hope it will change again in few weeks as Australia is my home and I want to have genuine and positive feelings about living there. The life I lead now is the result of the choices I have made over the years. Nobody to blame or to thank for but myself. I always thought that the choice for Australia was a brilliant one and I loved my Aussie life for many years. Then few things changed and some of the things I loved about my life in Sydney disappeared. A lot good things are still there for me, but Poland is a competition.

I have been visiting Poland almost every year for the last decade and each time I stay in my beautiful Gdansk. I call the place “my” even if my adventure with Gdansk started only recently. The place grew on me with each visit, there is some magic to this part of Poland and I am not the only person who thinks that. My best Polish friend who lives in Warsaw also says that there is magic in the Tricity. She is right.

Even if I do not want to compare the two countries and understand that it is not possible to do that sensibly, I catch myself on random thoughts giving Poland advantage over some aspects of my Australian life. This is only a temporary feeling, I know (or hope?). I believe, I will come to my senses soon. But for now, I am enchanted by Gdansk.

What is it that makes me see Poland in rosy colours? It is definitely not the politics or general characteristics of the “Polish nature”. They are sad, confusing things that worry me a lot but I do not want to think about them now. Many small, rather insignificant things add up and make me feel comfortable and satisfy my need of beauty in life.

Old Europe has its undisputed charms and Poland and particularly Gdansk are a part of it. When I stroll to the green market I am already in the Old Town of Gdansk or rather The Main Town as it is correctly called. I make a little detour for coffee in the Long Market, sit in an outside garden of a coffee place; read or watch passers-by. They are many of them and various nations, as I am always here in a tourist season. This is like a sitting form of flâneuring. They are very pleasant moments allowing for observations of people and surrounding architecture originating in XVI and XVII centuries. There is time for reflection and a bit of philosophising. Life in a slow movement…
                                                              
                                                                     

                                        

It does not take any effort to pay a visit to local Museum to see the famous Last Judgement painted by Hans Memling in the XV century. I just discovered that the famous painting has links with Florence, the place that fascinates me.      

                                                 

                    

The exhibition of the museum is more substantial than it has been some years ago. There are wonderful medieval treasures in form of sculptures, embroidery, the gold and silversmith art. There is also a good representation of Dutch paintings. I left the place with a WOW feeling.

Poland is not a rich country, but certain decisions of the town authorities contradict that. If there is going to be a fence in the town it is made of a wrought iron and is of the old-fashioned design and quality. There is a lot of granite as parts of pavements and the cobble stones are individually placed when repairs are needed. Some years ago, I saw asphalt street being ripped off and replaced with granite cubes for the street to look as it originally did some centuries ago. Not a short street, I must add.

Rides by public transport in Poland are free for retirees, not like in Australia only cheaper than for those who pay full fares. I am not trying to say that the Polish retirees lead a good life. Just the opposite, Australia better takes care of its older citizens.

Tram stops have light displays showing the forthcoming trams and times to departure. And this is 100% accurate, no need to use the information from a mobile. While traveling on a tram, the stops are announced. I was rather surprised on one of my first tram trips when I heard the announcement sang to the tune of the Bizet’s toreador song. It was announcing The Baltic Opera stop. Just before I managed to get over the nice surprise, a voice of a small child told me the next stop will be the stop by the Children Theatre. I hesitated if I should not travel to the end of the route just to hear the announcements. I lately discovered that the two announcements may be the only ones.

It is very nice and decadent to ask for half a kilo of blueberries and pay around 4 A$ for it. Raspberries and strawberries are also a reason for a great indulgence at a small cost.

                                                                   

In my kitchen after the visit at the green market

I just realised that I may have overdone in compensating for my break in posting, so I stop here even if my list of nice things about Poland is not finished yet. 

What do you know???

The Polish president will veto two of the three controversial laws, the laws that would have finally buried Polish democracy.  Wow, I am shocked! This is a very quick and emotional post. I am just leaving for a spa in few minutes, no time for writing and even no time for thinking. It makes me happy though. Can I trust this verdict? We'll see, but my choice for now is to feel positive about the event.

Time to shake off the blues

Frankly, I cannot see any changes in the circumstances I was bothered by, the other day writing my previous post. So, I thought that I ask my stoic bible for advice. I do not like this feeling of sadness and lack of control and I want to change it. Will it work? I hope so.

Mark Aurelius said that we do not have to give in to negative feelings like sadness or frustration. We may not have influence over the circumstances, but we have influence over our feelings and reactions. OK, I know the theory and I agree with it, but to make this necessary change is rather difficult. But if I do not make the necessary change in my mood, I am told that I am not true to myself, that I do not use the opportunities that are just at the stretch of the hand. That I waste opportunity to live better. Hmm…

Another thought, this time Seneca is the author of the wisdom, is that a wise person must not wait for the external bad circumstances to be resolved before the happy life can be lived.  It is shameful to wait with leading a happy and full life till whatever is bad at the moment passes or gets resolved. It is silly to expect that there will come the moment when everything is perfect and then we can spread our wings. This will never happen and we would waste our life waiting in vain for a perfect situation.

This is the theory, I intend to apply to my day and practice it. Will I manage? Maybe?? I feel a little better already.

Things look a little bleak

I have not been posting for a while and this is not because I do not have time to write. I have not been in the best of spirits, and this is quite an understatement. There a number of reasons for it. The weather is not uplifting to say the least. This has had impact on my mood and my well-being. Generally speaking, I do not feel well.

The political situation in the country is very depressing and there is no hope for a change. Polish government is doing its best to upset the EU and force Brussels to impose penalties on Poland. This most likely will eventually lead to Poland either being expelled or leaving the Union on its own accord claiming that it does not intend to be ruled by foreign powers. Political events are moving like a tsunami changing the old democratic order dramatically. As of yesterday, there is no independent jurisdiction. Today, we all woke up in a new reality. Sad, very sad. I can imagine the consequences of the current event and it looks very bleak to me. The people protests are massive and very moving, but in my opinion futile.

The Chain of Light protests outside the Courthouse in Warsaw. The light represents respect and sadness for outgoing democratic rules and hope for the future

                          

This is rather marginal and inconsequential, but few days ago the visit of Mr Trump in Poland was another reason to feel depressed. The visit was considered by some a great success, everything worked very well and the presidents of both countries were happy with the outcome. Mr. Trump laid superlatives towards Poland and Polish history so thick that it was too superficial even for American standards. Of course, he did not mean any of what he was saying and most likely even did not understand it. The sad thing about it is, that Polish crowds were lapping it up, cheering enthusiastically thinking that Poland and its history are eventually appreciated and understood. As the country is falling down some see it as uplifting future. I want to be the one who is wrong. How much I would like to be the one to be in the wrong!

While I have no influence on weather and politics and not that much on my health situation, I have all the control over that I read. And here, I made a wrong choice some ten days ago. For an while, if not for always, I read books to find answers to the questions: What is it all about? How to live well?  The most uplifting books I have found so far are books based stoic philosophy. This time I chose The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco. Bad choice. Not that the book is bad, far from it, but it is so dark in its mood and conclusions that it will take some effort to shake all the negativity off.

                                                                 

I do not intend to write about the content of the book this time, but I would like to write about the reason why I decided to read it. It was a fashionable book some years ago, but it somehow did not appeal to me then. Medieval times did not turn me on, they are still not my favourite times in history. I see too many frightening similarities between those times and some aspects of the current days.  As I perhaps mentioned earlier, books in Poland are published with much more care than their equivalents in other countries. I found this beautiful book in one of the many books stores in Gdansk and I could not resist buying it. The next step was to read it. The first 100 “boring” pages were intended by the author to check out the reader and his intention to go beyond the crime story that the book is known for. I passed the test and got sucked into the gloom and doom, cruelty, fanaticism, falseness of religious intentions and all that negative stuff. Mea Culpa! and my depression.

There is a Polish radio program where they always ask participants two questions: what is good and what is bad in the current situation. I have answered the second question comprehensively, the first one is a bit trickier today, but I have an answer! The conversion rate from Aussie dollars to Polish zloty improved in my favour! 

What Poles Drink Today

Poles always had reputation of being excessive drinkers. I agree that there was a lot of over drinking especially among people with insufficient financial means and education. One could often see in the morning “yesterday’s men” struggling from one lamp post to the next. Perhaps the last night they were drowning their sorrows or celebrating some occasion. I sometimes think that they drunk that much to forget the reality too difficult to cope with when sober? Difficult to say. Maybe the climate? Maybe the Slavic soul?

I just finished the fifth part of Knausgard’s My Struggle. This is a material for another post perhaps, but for now I just wanted to write about Scandinavian drinking or rather over drinking. Young Karl Ove, the author, in his twenties, is almost permanently drunk and so are his friends and colleagues. In drunken fits, they behave in a way that so called civilised society would definitely disapprove of. They are all educated and sensitive people without any real financial problems. Their protective government takes care of that. And they drink, it seems, more than proverbial Pole. Existential angst? Climate? Youth? I am defending the reputation of Poles a bit and perhaps quite unnecessarily, especially that this is not what I want to write about this time.  Anyhow, for the last few years I have not seen in Poland a man with a visible hangover. Maybe the drinking problem is solved or maybe drinking moved into homes and now in invisible.

Being curious (maybe not exactly insatiably, but curious nevertheless) I started to wonder what Poles drink those days.

I observed that they drink more wine and with a better understanding of the pleasure wine may bring. I still have some problems with being served white wine that is too warm for me or any wine that is not really dry. I may be served semi-dry wine because I am a woman and “ladies prefer more delicate taste”?  Still, the wine culture is already here and there are many real wine connoisseurs around.

There are specialised shops selling alcohol, but any small supermarket or even a little corner shop typically is licenced and has a comprehensive selection of wine, bear, vodka, whisky etc.

Loyalty cards are quite popular here so I have my Polish selection of such cards. There is a wine shop card among them. I noticed that sales people in Poland are typically more knowledgeable in relation to what they sell than their Aussie counterparts, so I started to ask for advice and opinion quite often. Doing some alcohol shopping in my friendly wine shop, I engaged into a little discussion with the salesman. He told me some interesting stories about wine making in certain regions and at some stage I have asked him the question “what people drink in Poland those days and what is really in fashion”. The answer came immediately and without hesitation: PROSECCO and PRIMITIVO. Both Italian wines, hmm… This is in Poland loving France and French since forever… 

                                

This explained why Aperol Spritz is on the menu of two little restaurants around the corner. I must say that I live in a quiet neighbourhood not known for restaurants. The first day in Gdansk going to the local restaurant of a suggestive and worrying name Italian Job I noticed to my surprise Aperol Spritz on the menu. Since one of my Sydney friends, Karon, tells me and all her Facebook friends, that the day when she has an Aperol Spritz is a good day, I thought that it would be proper to make this day good one for me as well. I ordered the drink. After some minutes, distressed waitress comes to our table saying that they ran out of Aperol, but tomorrow they will definitely have it. I have not tested it yet, but I might, even if I doubt  the preparation of the drink will meet my standards. Or rather Karon’s standards that I share.

                                                   

I also found out from my young Polish friends that whisky should not be any Johnny Walker or even Jack Daniels thing. It should be a single malt whisky with some serious years of maturing!  Obviously, this is not a drink to get drunk on as a Pole, unless money is not an object. But even than one perhaps is not anybody who’s anybody. Times have changed…

                                                    

So Prosecco, Primitivo and single malt whisky! This is what Poles drink today.

Place where a lot has happened

Some time ago, I have been told that I concentrate too much on the past rather than living in the NOW. I got a bit defensive about it, but on reflection I think I may have misunderstood the message and intentions of the person who commented on my posts. This time I must admit that the past is flooding my thoughts and feelings.  It restricted my actions and it is time that I do something about it. The Tri-City of Gdansk, Sopot and Gdynia causes excessive reflections. So much has happened in this place not only for the Polish modern history but also for me personally. I decided that writing I about it may help to get it out and forget. Here it goes…

I have not considered Gdansk to be my home town until quite recently it has started to change. Before I left Poland for living in other countries, I considered myself to be a Warsaw girl. I lived in Warsaw for about 15 years and felt at home there. I only visited the area around Gdansk from time to time. Almost each visit, however, triggered off some important change in my life. I have not realised that until quite recently, but the pattern is very clear.

It was not far from Gdansk that I fell in love for the first time. They are nice and tender memories confused a bit by the fact that it was me who left the relationship and not for a good reason. I simply grew out of it. Maybe this is a good reason enough? The object of my reminiscing lives in Gdansk now. When I pass his place of business, and I do sometimes, I cannot stop the memories to come back.

Yesterday, I walked from Sopot along the beach towards Gdansk. And again, I passed the place where my life took one of those critical turns. There, I met my future husband during one summer holiday. It was also the time where I said good bye to my first love. It was confusing and created a sense of guilt in me. It was quite an appropriate feeling for I was still a catholic girl and a Polish one to it. Guilt is speciality of Poles and a Catholicism is based on it.  So, I felt bad, but my life at the same time moved in the new exciting direction and the bliss of the first grownup love followed.

There is another place in the Long Market in the Old Town of Gdansk, where I learnt computing languages and this made me a programmer and started my IT career lasting many, many years. It was the start to my successful professional life. It is difficult not to pass the place where I studied those languages when I stroll in the Old Town and then it is difficult not to think about the times passed. Actually, it was more that studying involved there. 

There are two facades but the buildings are internally joined 

                                               

The room now looks very much the same as I remember it

After some years, life took me away from Poland and Australia became my new home. But before I moved there, me and the new man in my life spent part of our honey moon in Sopot staying in the Grand Hotel. It was a grand place, as the name indicates, but it was a tired grandness, only a memory of grand times. The communistic rulers did not approve of excesses in comfort and elegance, so the place was badly kept. It still meant a lot to me to be there. We had a room with a view. It was not a grand room, definitely not a honey moon suit, but the windows opened towards the sea. I thought it was fantastic.  I remember opening the window and inhaling the smell, the smell of sea I always found wonderful.

During my years in Australia I have not though about Gdansk at all and very little really about Poland. Of course, I knew about Solidarity and Walesa. It was Gdansk again…

After years my life went through another turn and I found myself on holidays in Gdansk. A single person again. With the help of my dear friend I reacquainted my old admirer. We went through a period of mutual infatuation and since we both were single it seemed sensible to plan our autumn years together. That is how I came to live in Gdansk. We shared the memories of our young years, love for literature and inclination to philosophising. We both loved under-cooked vegetables which is rather uncommon in Poland. That seemed enough to enter another relationship.  It was not that idyllic as I had imagined, but there are beautiful memories that come to me very often when I am in Gdansk. There is a lot of melancholy around it as the man has passed away.

There are a lot of good, happy feelings as well as I love my life style when in Poland. I also find my Gdansk place very comfortable and beautiful. I hope I will be able to return here for many more years. If I would be asked now what my Polish home town is , I would definitely answer – GDANSK!

Corpus Christi

My religious catholic times are over. This came with the package of noticing discrepancies between what the church practices and preaches. In addition, I divorced my first husband and the relationship moved into a true  friendship phase. The church however does not forgive such mistakes and excommunicates poor souls who change their minds as far as marriage goes. So, I was excommunicated and my old religious practices had to be stopped.

Living in Sydney as a non-Catholic I am typically unaware of the church holidays, not so in Poland. Today is the Corpus Christi day and that involves processions around each town, and I believe, villages as well. In Gdansk in the several parts of the town there are local Corpus Christi processions organised by the church and its more enthusiastic believers. For many years, the street at which I live has been selected to be on the route of the local procession. Further, the fence of the house has been especially honoured by erection of one of the four procession altars that belong to the process. I am respectful of the proceedings even if it is not my fairy-tale any more.

Yesterday, I noticed a couple of ladies energetically cleaning up the pavement around the house. They paid particular attention to crevices between the small granite stones at the edge of the pavement. I did not connect immediately their activities with the forthcoming Corpus Christi, but eventually I clicked when they asked me to keep an eye on potential cars that might want to park next to the altar that was going to be erected the next day morning. I promised to keep a watch, hoping nobody will park as I would perhaps not have enough motivation to intervene. Thankfully, nobody did.

This is the view of one of the main processions in Gdansk. Much more grandiose than my local one.Maybe the next year I will make my way to the Old Town of Gdansk for the occasion?

                                   

This morning I was waiting for the procession to pass next to my windows and around 11:00 I heard religious singing heralding the event. First a group of regular believers appeared, followed by church officials dressed in white albs, then little girls with baskets full of flower petals to be spread in front of the main priest marching under a canopy carried by four men. At the end about two hundred believers walked with their heads down showing particular respect. I liked observing the event, but had to be very discreet about it not to offend the religious feelings of anyone or trigger off potential aggression of people who may have not liked to be observed during their religious rituals. While watching, I prayed a bit in my own non-Catholic way similar to meditation. I liked the peacefulness coming with the moment.

The priest read some scriptures, just few meters away from my window where I was hiding behind a net curtain, then he performed a very short part of a mass and few minutes later, the whole procession walked away singing again.

To me, the whole process belongs more to the XIXth century than to the modern world of the XXIst, but such is Poland. It lives in the past and the future at the same time. In most of the cases I like it.